Dut Update

I’ve been hiding… in stories, in projects, in movies, in anything other than writing an honest account how things are – now, today.  And, I know exactly why I am hiding.  The term is called “putting your head in the sand.”  Or maybe it's just that putting something in writing forces you to face it.  So, this may or may not eventually be posted, depending on how it ends up.  For now, I am going to consider it an exercise in one of my new hiding endeavors: learning to touch type.  

To the point, my sister is frightening the hell out of me.  She almost died two weeks ago. (How’s that for temporarily pulling my head out of above-mentioned sand?)  She was admitted to the hospital with sepsis; in her weakened chemo condition anything can happen.  She did respond to treatment, but has not bounced back yet, not even close.  And feeling as crappy as she does, she had to get yet another round of poison (chemo) on Tuesday.  The whole situation emotionally transports me back, much, much too vividly, to another horrifying time in my life -- the strange and harrowing days when my daughter was going through the same thing.  It has been slightly over 9 years since that fateful day of her ALL diagnosis in January 2005. (That’s Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia for those mercifully unfamiliar with it).  The terrible effects of chemo, her ALL remission and subsequent recurrence, months of transplant preparation, the transplant itself in 2009 and its unimaginable aftereffects.  But, we will be celebrating the post-transplant 5-year anniversary on April 16th.  And, that’s a good thing, a very big deal.

All I can really bring myself to say is that I am worried about my sister beyond any words that I can even think of to write here.