Angel on My Shoulder – One Year Ago

Me and Judi circa early 70s

On April 4, 2014, at 3:20 AM, my cell phone rang.  It was my niece, Andrea.  “She’s gone.”  I felt the air leave my lungs in a painful blast and at that moment I knew my life would never be the same.  Although I was expecting the call, I wasn’t prepared for the bleak reality of losing my sister.  That was exactly 365 days ago.

The path immediately following her death was muddled with struggles, pitfalls and tears as the family grappled to find its way in a Judiless world.  There were times when it seemed impossible to bear.  But memories of Judi’s legendary sense of humor carried us through.  In fact, when the dust settled, I began to feel her presence in much of what I do each day.  Even now, I could feel her, sitting on my shoulder, close to me.  You better write something good about me.  Dear Dut, I could not think of anything otherwise.

As I mentioned in many previous posts, Judi and I loved to do errands together and these days inevitably included lunch.  There is a feature in my car that my hot-blooded sister really liked. Not only can my car have heated seats, it can cool the seats as well.  I hate the cooling feature; it makes me feel like I am sitting in a puddle of cold water and then I have to go to the bathroom.  Judi knew this.  But, she always blasted her seat to the coldest setting, especially in the summer.  And for a joke, as we said goodbye, she would often slip a sneaky finger over to my dial and set my seat to “freeze” as she was collecting her handbag or some such distraction. I would be halfway down the block and then notice that my behind was cold, and this would always make me laugh out loud. 

A few months ago, I experienced a sign of her presence.  I got out of a store that Judi and I used to frequent, and as I started on my way home I noticed that the seat was cold.  I looked down at the control and saw that the dial was set to three (the coldest)!  Very funny, Dut!

There are other times that I have sensed her in my life.  When our mother died she was with me.  When I am around her family I can’t help but feel her.  When I go certain places.  When coming across articles of our distant past – and our not-so-distant past.

So here I am, a year later.  My sister is still with me and always will be – as an angel on my shoulder.