Another One Bites the Dust

Today, after dinner, I went to my mother’s “independent living” apartment to pick up mail and bills that needed paying.  My plan was to swoop in, say a few nice things and not get pulled into the pervasive valley of negativity, then promptly execute a polite extraction.  No such luck. 

For the past year, I have been setting up her medications in those 7-day plastic pill dispensers, with the flip top lids, and she has been basically successful in using this system.  I set up about 4 weeks at a time; when she finishes with a week, she puts the empty container away and brings out a new week’s worth of meds and takes what she needs – her morning and evening doses.  When I go over to visit, or pick her up to come over for our usual Sunday dinner, I check to see how many weeks are full, or if it’s time to refill the dispensers.

But things have been hectic for me these past few weeks and I have been somewhat removed from typical communication with my mom.  (I admit some of this has been intentional on my part.)  So when I looked at the stack of pill dispenser boxes stashed under the bedroom television cabinet and I noticed that 4 out of 5 boxes were still full, I quickly scoured the apartment for this week’s box to see if she remembered to take her pills today.  Panic welled up as I could not find an in-use box anywhere in the apartment.  So I asked her about it.  She said that she didn’t ever remember taking such pills, and counting back, I figured out that she hasn’t taken them for the past 2 weeks.  She simply forgot about them being a part of her routine.  I wasn't sure about the safety of immediately resuming some of the meds, but Judi the nurse confirmed by phone that it was okay to do so.

A long, emotional talk with mom ensued and another ADL (Activity of Daily Living) bites the dust.  So much for the planned quick visit.  I am sad about this… every diminishment of what used to be my mother is another small grief to me.  Luckily, the “Village” offers services to purchase, including medication dispensing.  I plan to set it up on Monday.  While I’m at it, mom says, I may as well arrange laundry service, too. 

So that now leaves eating, reading and socializing as her primary responsibilities in life. Sure hope she can handle all the pressure.  But really, all I want is for her to enjoy the remainder of her long life… a side benefit will be that I can enjoy mine!