One of the more popular pastimes around here is officially called “Making Fun of Mom’s Blog.” The mathy people under this roof do not understand why I do this bloggy thing. And, compound that with L’s “I don’t want you to write anything about me. Just because you call me L, doesn’t mean people can’t figure it out.” True. Maybe I should design a symbol and use that instead, kind of like what Prince did when he was feuding with his record producers regarding the use of his name. Or not write about her at all. So, L, or ∞, you are right. I am sorry if I overstepped the boundaries of your privacy, although I never wrote anything other than positive notes and reflections of my pride in you.
On Friday I attended a meeting of the South Jersey Writer’s Group, a complete and utter puzzlement to the above-mentioned left-brained people who shall remain nameless in an effort to maintain their anonymity. I really enjoyed the guest speaker, who spoke about how to increase blog readership. What’s not to like about listening to an amusing guy with an English accent (no, I never got over my crush on Paul McCartney, intact since I was eleven years old) for an hour and a half? But, I am not really sure that I would even want to increase my readership, based solely on the nature of my posts. My husband wanted to know (during the rather heated family discussion yesterday morning regarding “mom’s blog”) why, if I feel the need to write about these things, don’t I just keep it as a non-published personal journal? The answer is “I don’t know.” There’s something exciting in opening Blogspot’s stats tab and seeing that someone from Belize actually read my blog, or at least visited, twice even. As of today the stats are: United States (1,114), United Kingdom (22), France (8), Netherlands (3), Belize (2), Canada (2), South Korea (2), Latvia (1). These are no way awesome stats like actual professional writers get, not by a long shot, but they’re kind of cool to me. I have to delve into the reasons why I like people to read what I write. Could it have something to do with the fat little insecure kid from the Bronx needing validation, reassurance that she can still produce something of value, at a time when her confidence is fluctuating during this prolonged period of unemployment?But, I have decided on a few things. I would like to return to the writer’s group for future meet-ups. The people are nice, the atmosphere is relaxed, the idea of it appeals to me and it’s free. I am going to begin a personal journal for my own uncensored verbal outpourings, no subject barred, although I will continue to write in this blog because I love sharing with special people in my life. Also, I will attempt a very new and frightening endeavor, something I have not done since the creative writing classes that I took too long ago to even fathom. I know that I am not qualified to do this, I don't know the rules, I don't have the confidence, but I have an idea for a story; it’s lived it in my head for years.
Linda, you are SO not alone in having a family that is uncomfortable with your writing. Believe me, as a professional and published writer and one who's creative writing is limited to first-person narrative, this is an occupational hazard that never gets fully resolved. "Mom's blog" is an absolute target of snarky eye-rolling in my house, balanced by a healthy dose of terror that I will write about their precious lives.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the answer. I try to balance their need for privacy with my need to tell my stories and muse about my struggles and opinions. I'm in the midst of writing a memoir that is a very intimate portrait of my younger self that I think will probably have to wait for any attempt at publishing until my children are older and my mother, God forgive me, gone.
But, I still keep writing. I guess that's my message to you. I haven't had time to weigh in so much and applaud your new tentative directions, but applauding is what I've been doing here in the stratosphere. The other day, I was driving and musing about blogging and I actually made a mental note to comment on your brave steps.
Now how crazy is that? We haven't even met and here you have a fellow writer in Brooklyn thinking about your work... That's a reason to keep on blogging, ever watchful of your family's legitimate right to privacy, but ever watchful of your legitimate write to expression.
Let me wrap that thought up: That's the reason--because it's doing something good and stretching for you (which is resonating in your art, as well), and it's touching others. Take that, snarky families, everywhere.
ReplyDeleteWomen have needed more than their own room to create, they've needed the belief that they have a right to create. Did you read Just Kids, Patti Smith's memoir of her early days and relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe? Loved it for all sorts of reasons, but one of the things that stuck with me is Mapplethorpe's absolute conviction in his identity as an artist, even way before he ever picked up a camera. He needed to create. Period, end of report. That was enough of a reason for him. Sure, he craved recognition and fame, but his drive to create was so strong that I wager if someone could guarantee him that he would remain undiscovered forever, he still would have created every single day just because that's who he was.
But, there's the rub, he did crave recognition and fame and all artists want their work to be shown, heard, reviled, appreciated, just plain engaged with. And so do you, thus, the blogging. It is different than journalling, very different.
So, you're an artist and increasingly a writer. That's enough reason for you and, therefore, should be enough reason for the puzzled family. And if it's not, then that's more their problem than yours.
Hi Kim,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, please know how much I appreciate your words of support and of “getting it.” You have written so many insightful, interesting and funny things (I do read your blog on a regular basis), that it means so much more. (I was also planning to “weigh in” on your handbag blog post last week by actually weighing my handbag and sharing the info I but never got around to bringing it upstairs to the scale.) But, you are absolutely right. The connections we make through creative expressions are rewarding and sometimes even amazing. Yes, I guess that’s it. Art is supposed to do that – touch and connect. I have not read “Just Kids” but will surely put it on my short list. And I love your apropos reference to Virginia Woolf.
< "Mom's blog" is an absolute target of snarky eye-rolling in my house, balanced by a healthy dose of terror that I will write about their precious lives. >
Boy, I had to laugh out loud at this line! But, being careful and sensitive is crucial. I understand how you feel about the publishing of your memoirs.
Thanks, Kim. Wish I saw all the movies that you did but I am off to watch the Oscars nevertheless. Have fun!
Hi Lin. You ARE qualified to do this! Your writing is engaging and colorful and draws me in. I am proud of and impressed with you. You are multitalented, and that is a true gift. I am glad you liked the writers' group. And--a story idea that has lived in your head for years? sounds like something good to transfer to computer keyboard now.....love, alice
ReplyDeleteThank you, Al. Frankly, I am not quite sure what to do. I am trying to learn some of the rules, but it seems like sometimes there aren't any. You are the real writer; you go first. Love, Lin
ReplyDeletethank you for the nice compliment but don't wait for me....you can see how long i take! love you
ReplyDelete